where it all begins

Today as I opened my 21^st Juz in class, Ghazala Baji mentioned, we are doing the last third of the Qur’an, the last third, we are done with 2/3^rds of the Qur’an. That’s when it hit me. Ya Allah, time has just drifted away from my fingers. I couldn’t believe it, I’m almost done with the Qur’an, and how much has it affected me? Have I connected to Allah? How much did it really touch me, how much did I really change?

I realized during this journey, in all these months, I haven’t gone so far. I began to feel sad and wonder why I haven’t changed as much as I should, why I still find certain things difficult, why is it so hard to stay on the straight path. As all these thoughts were passing through my head, we began the first ayah, Ayah 45 of Surah Ankabut:

“Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.”

I felt as if Allah just responded to my worries, he answered and showed me the way. Why do I still fall into wrong? Because of my connection with Allah in my Salah is not strong enough. If I just connect with Allah, if I just fix up my Salah, strive in my Salah and gain khushu in it, then I would change. I wouldn’t remain the same at all. I would remember Allah at all times. I would think twice before doing anything I shouldn’t be doing. I wouldn’t the same person; I would be as I should be.

And it all begins with my Salah, my connection with Allah…